I really thought I had it figured out. I thought that if I could convince Boss that I needed some safety goggles for more than just workin’ at the job site, he just might go fer it. Boss don’t take to spendin’ money unnecessarily. Frugal, I think, is the word he uses. Well, not him so much, but Wife. She’s frugal all right; won’t even buy the expensive dog treats. Anyway, I devised a plan and even got That Cat to help me. While she distracted Boss early one mornin’ by climbin’ up in the motor of his weldin’ truck, I stealthly crept across the street and stole the neighbor’s newspaper. I had it well-hid under the Denver Broncos flag by the time Boss got That Cat out from under his hood. (I don’t know if That Cat realized she was usin’ up one of her nine lives by climbin’ up in there, but I didn’t have time to ponder such details. I needed my safety goggles.) So far so good. Boss left me at home that day to work on our upcomin’ safety meetin’. That Cat said my timin’ was, “Purrrrfect.” Whatever.

After Boss and his crew took off, I chewed the rubber band off the paper, unrolled it, and found just what I needed. Boss loves power tools. I carefully carried that page of the paper into the house and hid it under my pillow along with a Black Friday ad for 50% off at Petsmart. Than I waited.

On Thanksgivin’ mornin’ Boss got up to fry the turkey. Now I know what you’re thinkin’.

But that didn’t happen. Boss knows what he’s doin’. It came out more like this

It’s what happened afterwards that was a shocker. Boss carried that fried bird into the kitchen and started to cut it up with his huntin’ knife that he uses for all kinds of other stuff. Of course, that went over with Wife about as well as puttin’ a metal roof on a hay barn in the New Mexico wind goes over with me, but that’s a whole ‘nother story. Boss pulled out the electric knife and started attachin’ the blades. While his back was turned toward the turkey, the smell got to me and I decided I needed a closer look. Just as I got both front paws up on the cabinet door and my nose close enough to the turkey to get a little taste, That Cat let out one of her ear bustin’ meeee-ows and Boss turned around. When he did, he accidentally hit the start button on the electric knife. Since only one of ‘em blades was secure, the other one went flyin’ off. It ping-ponged all around the kitchen--first the refrigerator, then the hood vent, and finally the window, which cracked upon impact. Quicker than a leather-soled boot on a slick roof, I spun around and headed for the hills, wherever they were. But it was too late. I heard Boss slam the door as he tossed That Cat outside. Then I heard my name--DENVER!--along with Boss quotin’ 1 Corinthians 13:4 which says, “Love is patient, love is kind…” and part of verse 5 which says, “...it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I kinda wondered why Boss would be a-sayin’ such a thing at a time like this, but I figured he knew what he was doin’. Anyway, I laid my ears back, stuck my tail in between my legs, hunkered down, and crawled over to him.

Boss gave me a talkin’ to about how dangerous flyin’ knife blades and broken glass could be. But then he and Wife did somethin’ strange. They both started laughin’. Just a little bit at first, but then a whole lot. It was puzzlin’ at first, but after a while I realized that Thanksgiving and Christmas have a way of makin’ us joyful--even in adverse circumstances. I guess that’s what love does.

Anyway, since Boss and Wife seemed to be handlin’ this chaos perty well, and the chaos involved carvin’ a turkey, I decided it was the prime opportunity to show ‘em what I had found in that stolen newspaper of mine. I was just sure Boss would give me my safety goggles now.

Turns out, both me and That Cat were wrong. My timin’ was less than “Purrrrfect.” 'Till next time...

By Corene Alford

Boss woke me up late today--not ‘til 6:00--it bein’ the first day of fall and all. I ‘preciate that because I have to admit, I’ve been celebratin’ the orange crush victory the Broncos had on Sunday perty near all week, even while workin’ on construction safety. I mean, who could forget Miller’s two sacks; Talib’s 103 yard pick-6; hearing Siemian say, “Omaha” (brings back fond memories); and Anderson’s 118 yards, glorious spin move for a gain of 28, and his touchdown. What a game! I got so excited that I almost forgot to plan our upcoming safety meeting. Of course, That Cat had to flick her long, skinny tail a time or two and ask me if I had it done yet. “I’m workin’ on it, don’t you worry; almost done, in fact.” I barked.

So. I guess I’d better get to workin’ on it; Boss likes ‘em to be perty regular-like. He really watches out for his guys on all the jobsites, and part of keepin’ them kids (that’s what Boss calls two or three of ‘em--kids--bahahaha!) safe is informin’ them about certain dangers that they might run into. As Head of Safety, I have a lot of input with Boss about that stuff. Since I’m plannin’ this meeting with the game still rollin’ around in my head, I’m realizin’ the importance of somebody havin’ your back. I mean, Anderson would have never gained 118 yards and made a touchdown without his blockers, and the interestin’ thing is, most people don’t even know who those blockers were. It reminds me of what Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 10:24, “No one should seek their own good, but the good of others.” Yep, that’s what makes a team alright.

Speakin’ of teams, ours is growin’. Boss’s dad, Dennis Hughes, and his blocker Hank (another blue heeler like me), have been drafted. I sure am glad we’ve got some more guys keepin’ everybody safe. It wouldn’t work too good for me to do it all alone. That Cat would probably get to orderin’ me around even more than she does already.

Oh, speakin’ of That Cat, guess I’d better get that safety meetin’ planned out so I can enjoy the rest of the first day of fall. ‘Til next time…

By Corene Alford

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